OCTOBER 10, 1997 GAY PEOPle's ChroNICLE 9
SPEAK OUT
Let us proclaim the sacred power of this day
by Eric Resnick
There are times when nature treats us to amazing phenomena. This year, the blending of the secular solar calendar and the biblical lunar calendar puts October 11 and Tishrei 10 on the same day. Tishrei 10 is Yom Kippur, the highest of the holy days on the Jewish calendar. October 11 is National Coming Out Day, highest of holidays on the gay activist calendar.
What am I going to be on that day? Will I be a"gay Jew" focusing more of my thoughts and attention on rallies, festivals, and media opportunities, hoping to empower others to come out of their closets and be counted? Or will I be a "Jew who is also gay" and be consumed by
their sexual orientation, often under the same circumstances.
"Never deny you're a Jew." I can hear those words coming from my deceased grandfather as though they were spoken yesterday. My grandfather who is living actually admonished me that very phrase yesterday—again!
Being immigrants who fled religious persecution in their native lands, my grandfathers remembered why they came to America. There would be no bigger slap in their faces than for one of their grandchildren to deny their heritage, even if it meant facing unpleasant consequences.
National Coming Out Day
the obligations of my faith and my family? is powerful. For some, it is
Both are equally important. Both are equally a part of me.
As long as the question is "either-or," I will miss out on something. Luckily, National Coming Out Day and Yom Kippur are not mutually exclusive experiences. Both are designed to cause participants to examine themselves. Both can be liberating spiritual experiences. Both facilitate support from one's community and give strength to each individual
member.
In America, Jews and gays share many common experiences. My grandparents' generation of American Jews was closeted and lived in fear. Many, especially people with business concerns, changed their names so they wouldn't sound "too Jewish."
Gentlemen's agreements kept visible Jews out of housing developments, educational institutions, and economic opportunities. Until the mid 1960s, an exclusive housing development eight miles from my home had a sign on the gate which read NO DOGS OR
JEWS ALLOWED.
My grandparents and parents faced harassment in school because they were Jewish, misunderstood, and different. For them, observance of Jewish holidays could easily involve physical attacks and ridicule in class. Of course, like the experiences of gay youth, the effects are permanent and life-shaping.
Both Yom Kippur and National Coming Out Day call us to get honest with ourselves first, those we love next, then our neighbors, and of course, our God. Through the exercise of getting honest and experiencing spiritual reconciliation, one can find a great deal of strength.
The Reform Jewish prayerbook has passages dealing with examination of sexual behavior and the repentance for times of sexual immorality. Those passages have taken on different meaning for me since I came out. For my spiritual reconciliation I thank the gay and lesbian folks who were honest enough with me to share enough of themselves that I learned I had nothing to be ashamed of being gay.
On Yom Kippur, Jews honor ancestors who were martyred for refusing to deny their Judaism, even at gunpoint. National Coming Out Day calls gays and lesbians to honor our ancestors who were martyred for refusing to deny
awesome. For some, it is dreadful.
Gay Americans may face unpleasant consequences coming out. Some don't come out until it becomes more difficult to face themselves while behind closet doors. But we know, as did my grandfathers, that there is strength in numbers and strength in honoring our heritage and affirming our future.
If they hurt one of us, they hurt all of us. When one of us stands up for who we are, we give courage to others who are thinking about it. The lessons of Yom Kippur give Jews perspective to think about their role as a member of a community. The lessons of National Coming Out Day give lesbians, gays and bisexuals perspective and a platform to reach out, and reach inward, to focus on the health of our community.
One of the liturgical poems read on Yom Kippur morning begins: "Let us proclaim the
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sacred power of this day: it is awesome and full of dread." By comparison, National Coming Out Day is powerful. For some, it is awesome. For some, it is dreadful.
On Yom Kippur, that poem is read early in the morning. As the day progresses and the worshipers move through the experience, the dread is replaced by joy. For National Coming Out Day to be truly effective, people should be moved from feelings of oppression to feelings of liberation; from dread to empowerment.
Both holidays represent more than the rituals that separate them from the other days of the year. Both should affect how we live the rest of the year.
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I will spend my holidays with people important to me. I will be introspective. I hope to be a better person by the end of the day, which will involve participation in and observance of both holidays. I will look at the prayerbooks around me to see if I was lucky enough to get one with the label showing it was a gift from my grandparents. I will remember my loved ones who are gone. I will call friends and relatives I haven't seen in a while. And I will participate in the rallies and the festivals and try to help others find their inner strength.
It isn't either-or." It is all a part of who I am, and what I believe.
Let us proclaim the sacred power of this day; it is the power within all of us!
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